i was sitting with my love last night and we were both talking about the best time of our lives. and all i can think is right about now is as good as it gets. i mean i member when i was younger and didnt have a care in the world true…but i also then had no idea what life was about. dont get me wrong..sometimes i would give anything to be young and pure and have my biggest worry be who in the world i was gona stay with over the weekend but its all changed..its all grown.

now i have a full view of what the world really is..i know that this is a hard place and i cant be just like peter pan unfortunitely. in the past 5 months my life has changed so dramatically…i am in college, i am working 2 part time jobs which in my book adds out to 1 full time job, and i am in a relationship that takes all of my time but its one of the best things i have going on right now.

i member back in the summer of ‘09 it was all different..i was off galavanting and doing as i pleased.but that got me nowhere. it got me worried for what my future held and honestly it did not prepare me for the real world at all.

now i am prepared.i am making a life for myself and im doing everything i need to do to look back one day and think to myself “i did this..this was all me..no help no nothing..just one guys dying support and love for me..that got me here.”

so i thank me and i thank sunshine for pushing me..and being proud of me when nobody else was..and i thank him for letting me play with sparklers like a 5 year old when he cant stand home fireworks. and i thank him for watching me clean like a crazy woman just cuz he doesnt know how to put his dirty ass clothes in the basket.

ass.